Why It’s So Hard to Let Go of an Old Story About Yourself

Sometimes you know the story isn't true anymore.

You know you don't have to keep everyone happy.

You know you're allowed to say no.

You know one mistake doesn't mean you're bad at something.

You know you don't have to push yourself until you're exhausted to prove you're trying.

You KNOW.

And then something happens...

and there you are again.

Second-guessing yourself.

Saying yes when you wanted to say no.

Pushing harder.

Making yourself smaller.

Wondering what everyone else is going to think.

It's frustrating, isn't it?

Especially when you've already done the work to recognize the belief.

But maybe going back to an old story doesn't mean you haven't grown.

Maybe it just means that story is familiar.

There Was Probably a Reason You Learned It

I think we can be pretty hard on ourselves when we start recognizing some of our old patterns.

Why did I put up with that?

Why didn't I speak up?

Why do I care so much what people think?

Why can't I just say no?

Why do I keep doing this when I KNOW better?

But the woman who first learned that pattern wasn't sitting there thinking:

What's the most inconvenient belief I can create for Future Me?

She was living her life.

Maybe keeping the peace worked.

Maybe being the dependable one got you love or approval.

Maybe doing everything yourself meant you knew it would get done.

Maybe staying quiet prevented an argument.

Maybe checking what everyone else thought before making a decision helped you avoid criticism.

Maybe pushing yourself was how you got through a really difficult season.

Whatever your particular story is, there may have been a time when it made sense.

That doesn't mean it still has to run things now.

You Don't Have to Hate the Old Story to Outgrow It

This is the part I think we sometimes miss.

We discover a belief that's holding us back and immediately want to get rid of it.

Stop thinking that.

Stop doing that.

Be more confident.

Trust yourself.

Think positively.

Choose differently.

Basically, we find another part of ourselves that needs fixing.

But what if you didn't fight it?

What if instead you could say:

I understand why I learned this.

I understand why this felt like the safer choice.

I understand what this did for me.

And I don't need it in the same way anymore.

Both things can be true.

You can appreciate how you got here and still decide you don't want to keep going the same way.

You Have More Information Now

Think about how much your life has changed.

You're not exactly the same woman you were five years ago.

Or ten.

Or twenty.

You've had experiences you hadn't had then.

You've learned things.

You've gotten some things completely wrong.

You've gotten through things you weren't sure you could handle.

You've discovered things you like and things you definitely don't.

You've changed.

So why wouldn't some of your beliefs need to change too?

Something can make perfect sense during one season of your life and stop fitting during another.

That doesn't mean you were stupid for believing it then.

It means you have more information now.

And you're allowed to use it.

This Is Where Self-Trust Comes In

Choosing a new story sounds lovely until you're standing in an actual moment where you have to do something differently.

Someone asks you for something and you want to say no.

You make a decision someone else doesn't agree with.

You choose the option that feels better for your body instead of the one you think you should be able to do.

You stop before everything is finished.

You let someone else handle something without stepping in and fixing it.

Suddenly this isn't just a nice idea anymore.

You have to trust yourself.

And that can feel uncomfortable.

Not necessarily because you're making the wrong choice.

Sometimes it's uncomfortable simply because it's a different choice.

Your Yoga Mat Is a Place to Practice Choosing

That's part of the intention behind this week's Yoga for Self-Trust & Inner Strength practice.

We're using movement to practice something that matters far beyond the mat:

I get to choose.

I'll offer options.

You decide what feels right.

You might choose one and then realize you want the other.

Change it.

You might wobble.

Come back.

You might notice yourself pushing harder simply because you think harder must be better.

What happens if you don't?

You might hear me cue something and realize your body wants something different.

Listen.

These seem like tiny decisions.

They are.

That's exactly why your mat can be such a good place to practice them.

There isn't much at stake.

You can experience making a choice, responding to what happens and realizing:

Oh. I can trust myself with this.

Strength Doesn't Have to Feel Like Force

We sometimes picture strength as pushing.

Holding longer.

Going deeper.

Doing the harder thing.

Not quitting.

And yes, strength can absolutely have effort in it.

But there's another kind too.

The strength to change your mind.

The strength to listen.

The strength to stop.

The strength to make a choice without needing everyone else to agree with it.

The strength to let your own answer be enough.

That kind of strength can be surprisingly quiet.

And I want you to notice that during this practice.

What happens when you don't have to prove you're strong?

What happens when strength comes from trusting yourself instead of fighting yourself?

You Can Choose Again

Maybe you'll leave this practice and fall right back into an old pattern tomorrow.

Welcome to being human. ❤️

That doesn't erase what you practiced today.

You can notice.

You can catch yourself.

And you can choose again.

That's the part I want you to remember.

Choosing a new story doesn't mean you'll never hear the old one again.

It means the old one isn't the only voice that gets a say anymore.

So if there's something you've been ready to let go of but part of you keeps reaching back for it, maybe you don't need to fight that part of yourself.

Understand her.

Appreciate what she was trying to do.

And then remind her:

We have options now.

You don't have to erase the old story.

You don't have to be ashamed that you ever believed it.

You can thank it for getting you this far...

and choose what comes next.

May you always stay true to your intentions, true to your heart's desires, and speak loving truth to those around you.

Love ya,
Jennifer